Hello readers, we are sat on our veranda in the Algarve, it’s a pleasant evening after a rainy couple of days. It’s day two here so I’ll go back almost 48 hours and fill you in.
At 2:45am on Sunday morning Paul’s alarm went off and he headed for a bath. Ah, the bliss of the bed to myself. I dozed back off until his dulcet tones sounded. Oh crap, I have to get up at this ungodly hour as well don’t I? Our flight was from Birmingham at 06:30 so we got ready and went to the airport. Being a package tour and a short haul flight there was no upper class, business or favourable check-in and we had to queue with everyone else at the Monarch check-in desk. Service was slow but eventually we were called forward. Again a consequence of package deals is no self seat allocation ahead of travel but upon asking there were still extra leg room seats available so we paid the £38 and opted for that.
The flight was fairly uneventful though looking around it seemed very much like a Derby and Joan convention. We were definitely about the youngest bar a couple of grandchildren that had been dragged along by the elderly contingent. We landed about 9am (still on UK time being Portugal) and were bus’d to the the terminal. Another queue at immigration and then onto get the bags which came off relatively quickly. It was then over to Hertz to get the car. It seemed relatively quiet so I waited outside and Paul went in. Whilst he was queuing we had our first downpour, so being the true Brit I sat under my brolly. It took ages for Paul to emerge again, I was convinced there had been a problem that he was dealing with in true Paul style, but no, it was just very slow. We made our way to our allocated Fiat Punto (nice (sorry Iain)). With the trusty iPhone sat nav we decided to head for the hotel and see if we could check in, albeit early.
The journey was not what we had expected, the area was a little grotty and run down in places. At one point I looked at a billboard suddenly to find myself thrown forwards as Paul completed an emergency stop. A light at a crossing had turned red which we have since worked out seems to happen if we approach too fast (yes it has happened with enough frequency to ascertain that!). It took around 30 mins but trusty Tom Tom got us to our hotel – Grande Real Santa Eulalia. It’s a 5 star gated hotel and spa complex with cobbled roadways. Our package entitled us to a guaranteed room upgrade allocated upon arrival which proved tricky with the check-in girl’s poor grasp of English but with a little persistence she checked with a colleague and our studio apartment was duly upgraded to a 1 bedroomed apartment. We then got a cool trip in a golf buggy to our designated apartment with the bell boy. (It’s a bit of a golfers paradise out here). Our apartment is nice enough though both of us feel it is not worthy of 5 stars. We have stayed in much nicer places that are way more luxurious. I think it’s on a par with the Cala Vinas and that’s only 4 star.
We unpacked and decided to head straight out as we were both starving. It was now about half 11 so we figured we were about right for lunch. We started to explore the hotel and made our way to the sea front where there was a cafe. It was windy and raining (my brolly had been used a few times by now) but there was a few people out and about and the cafe was quite full. We opted for hot dogs and coke (very USA) which turned up in seconds and the hot dogs contained not only sausage but ham and French fry crisps! An odd concoction but tasty all the same.
After lunch we decided to go an explore Albufeira, an interesting place akin to Magaluf! I thought the Algarve was posh – I was wrong. It has many similarities to Majorca but mostly the bad bits! We tried to drive as close the the beach as we could but some areas were pedestrianised. The standard of driving is appalling by the way, they pull out on you, drive too close up behind and dart about like maniacs.
We then went to Vilamora marina, quite a nice stop to be honest. We walked past the shops, restaurants and even a champagne bar. There were some impressive boats and there were vendors of both boats and accessories for them – including hot tubs to have aboard! By this time it was getting on for 3pm and having been up for 12 hours we were both shattered so came back to the ranch for a rest. Paul watched tv as he dozed and I got my head down curled up with a blanket.
We got up about 7pm and needed to eat so headed out once more. We wanted to check out the places of interest for later in the week so found the sea life park and the shopping centre. Since the shopping centre had a food court we went there for dinner. McDonalds was the selected choice and the nice chap spoke very good English. I had a cheeseburger happy meal and Paul had a chicken sandwich meal. We each had an apple pie for dessert – we’re on holiday so dinner must include a dessert right? We came straight home and watched the first episode of an American celebrity apprentice which includes Piers Morgan, Gene Simmonds, Lenox Lewis and other b list celebs I am struggling to name. The first to go was a former playmate of the year called Tiffany. Donald Trump was disappointed she had not called in a favour from Hugh in order to win the task!
At this point I must spare a thought and a prayer for the sad loss of Sir Henry Cooper. God rest his soul.
We headed for bed about 11pm and after a bed stripping and re-making exercise after finding a spider in mine!!!!! got some sleep.
We awoke today about 9am. The beds are very uncomfortable and too hard. Paul took a call from our rep so de sided to complain about this and the fact that the wifi does not work properly. Not sure if anything will happen but we’ll see. The rep has just called again actually and aside from Paul chatting about our day and the weather it seems she may get someone to call round about the wifi!
At this point I spare no thought or prayer for Osama Bin Laden but it has to be said we are having a lot of breaking news this trip. What is next I ask…
So, back to this morning. Breakfast was toast, fake croissants, crisps and biscuits. The maid got a tad tetchy just after 11 as we were still in but we had a nice gentle morning. We then headed out to the shops making our way to Portimao first. I managed to get a cardie and a top from H&M and we also bought some sweets and 2 mugs (the cups are too small for a good old English cuppa!). We stopped for a Sprite and as the sun shone through the clouds it was very pleasant and warm.
Afterwards we drove out to Alvor. A beach resort. It was windy and wet so there was no bathers but we got some snaps. I think you may have to wait until our return for the pics to be uploaded though – sorry folks.
We then made our way to the Algarve shopping centre. The one where we had dined last night. I needed to get some bare minerals make up from Sephora and thankfully even in this country of darker skinned folk they had my porcelain colour! We had seen the previous evening a nice looking steak house in the shopping centre and had planned our day such that we ended up here for an early tea. We went in and asked if we could sit anywhere, discovering immediately that no English was spoken. After hand gestures of eating and pointing to tables we sat down. There was an english translation on the menu but even so ordering was impossible. The Fillet steak seemed to be an issue that we didn’t understand. We think it was that it was cooked at the table but after several failed conversations Paul decided to use his iPhone translator. We ended up ordering sirloin as fillet didn’t actually seem to be served. The translator gave us steak and chips as well as the useful “medium” and “well done” phrases. Paul was slightly concerned he may be giving praise to his steak rather than asking for it’s cooking time but all seemed ok.
Coke as a beverage is understood the world over so that bit was ok! After what seemed to be an eternity 2 bowls turned up with cremated steak in each. Also present was a slice of lemon and a lot of olives! Subsequently 2 bowls of chips arrived served with a slice of orange and another substance that neither of us ever worked out what it was. It was the consistency of breadcrumbs with green spices and a taste reminiscent of sage and onion stuffing (but not as nice). By this point a new waitress had arrived on shift with a better grasp of English so despite having translations at the ready we requested salt, mustard and ketchup with ease. The translation of ketchup is actually ketchup so that may have helped slightly.
The steak was tough as old boots and had a horrible twang that we attributed to the olives. Both were extremely highly praised (very well done if that went over any heads). After transferring just the meat and chips to a plate it looked almost edible so we hacked our way through and ate. Needless to say we don’t recommend the place.
We headed straight back after dinner and that’s where you find us now. We’ve had a mug of tea and as it’s now 8pm it’s starting to get chilly so I will head inside and sign off for now.
Until next time….